10 Things You WILL See at TRAFFIC

Oct 07 2012

Here are ten things I can almost guarantee you will see or hear about at TRAFFIC.  I can’t make it this year for many reasons.  I’d love to be there but I am making it up by eating $2000 worth of double stuff Oreos.  Not going to help my business but I’ve made a three foot high Oreo that is pretty special.   Here are my ten….

1. Crazy dance by Brett Lewis  Good lawyer, crazy ass dancer.  He dances like one of those long skinny blow up figures they put at grand openings and stuff.  And he doesn’t wait for the crowd to build.  He will be there from the opening song.

2. Guy Wearing Suit and Tie to Breakfast:   Maybe they are European, maybe they don’t own any other clothes.  But there always seems to be some guy wearing a suit and tie to the 8 am buffet clothes.  He’ll usually be sitting next to the person that looks like they slept in their clothes and just got in from last night’s after party.

3. Guy that one ups your stories:   You know the guy.  He’s not listening to you one bit, he got the basics of your story and he’s mentally preparing to tell his story that will be just a little better than yours.

4. Business Cards that Cost more than $1 to Make:   They are metal or die cut into the shape of an airplane.  Cards that are more expensive than writing all your information on a dollar bill.  Cards that cut holes in your pocket or cause cuts so bad you have to get stitches.

5. Person Ends conversation with “Gotta Go to a Meeting”    I don’t know how many meetings are held during the conference but there are a lot.  No doubt face to face meetings are much better than on the phone but man, there are a lot of meetings.  It’s also a good way to get out of a conversation.  I’ve watched so many new domainers go up to a well known domainer and try and make conversation only to be stopped short by the “gotta go to a meeting”  OK maybe that new guy was me.

6.  The Frank Schilling greeting line:  I’m not sure if Frank is coming but when he shows up it looks like a bride going around the room thanking everyone for showing up.  Lines down the hall. Photos everywhere.  Everyone will leave feeling like Frank is a great friend and could possible be on his Christmas card list this year.

7. The Confused Bidder:  Every domain auction seems to have some bidders not paying attention and bidding on the wrong domain.  They think they are bidding on a name other than the name up.  Last year it was Toby and the Dallas Cowboys have even done it. There are more than we know because I’ve heard a few times where the buyer just took the name rather than let everyone know they weren’t paying attention.

 8.  No Sessions, All Parties:   There are always those conference attendees that don’t make one single session or if they do it’s the after 2 pm events.  It’s said that all the good deals are done after dark.

9.  The Quiet Millionaire   There are plenty of guys that put their dicks on the table but there is also a few guys that don’t say much but are the best business guys in the room.  It’s the reason it’s always beneficial to introduce yourself to everyone at the table and to try and involve the quiet people.  They may actually have more to offer than the centers of attention.

10:  Greg McNair after party:  There will be alcohol flowing, head shaving, and the last party to close.  He does everything to its fullest.  He may not know your name but unless the party gets closed down and you don’t act like an ass, anyone that can stay up late enough has a chance to mingle with the best of the best. 

And One You Won’t…  Mike Cohen

The mysterious guy that writes under the pen name Mike Cohen has NEVER been seen in public.  WILL NOT Skype or even talk on the phone.   Even his Facebook page has only one picture that may or not be him. It’s the craziest thing I have ever seen.  Fusible is like Lindsay Lohan of pictures compared to Cohen.  I can guarantee he won’t be at TRAFFIC.


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Outsmarting the Dumb, Outworking the Smart

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  1. Richard Head

    great post. don’t forget these additional ones

    11. Hawaiian shirts – wether it be Schwartz or Neu you’re sure to see the whole 2012 Tommy Bahama collection over the course of the next 4 days. Also, watch for Bill Sweetman in his attempt to outdo Schwartz and Neu he will likely blind you with his shirt selection.

    12. Grillings – Schwartz is famous for getting up to the mic during a panel and letting his speakers know how he feels.

    13. Shrimp

    14. The guy with the list – yea that guy that has a portfolio of 45000 domains that he’s been holding since 2000. None with a single exact match keyword domain. Yea he wants to sell YOU some domains. Come look through my paper print out of 150 pages please.

    15. Lobby surfers – watch out for these guys. You get caught hanging out with one of them and you might be the subject of a few Howard and Rick blog rants. You may even get banned from paying Rick and Howard $1800 next time. . .cough hack yea right.

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