Damn It Bob! You Screwed Up The Value Of the Baseball I Had You Autograph

Apr 04 2011

It was one of the most awkward moments I’ve ever been involved in.  Bob Parson’s gave a speech at DomainFest that was pretty good. The stories were honest and fairly well delivered but there was something about it that seemed uncomfortable. At all points in time I felt like he wanted to curse, drink, and make inappropriate comments.  I have no idea if any of that were true, it’s just the feeling I got.  He came across as rough, a fact he admitted during his speech as he talked about his childhood.  Bob is a man that built his businesses the old fashioned way and it didn’t involve political correctness. By the end of the meet and greet it was very obvious he couldn’t wait to get out of there.  He look tired and confused.  This picture of him and I seemed to sum it up.

Parsons knows sex sells and controversy is good for getting out his company’s name. He’s playing this off as good for business but I think his PR people might disagree.  Despite the fact he is the vision behind Godaddy, I’ve always thought Bob Parson should stay out of the spotlight.  My thoughts were proven when he spoke at DomainFest.  Then he drove the nail in further when he went out and shot and killed an elephant and bragged to the world about it.  No doubt he’s a great businessman, but he is a terrible public image for his company.  From the gaudy diamond ring to his views on the young ladies, it’s just not an image that a global company wants to have.  Perhaps if he owned a poker site it would fly, but it’s not good for Godaddy.

I’m sure people are going to say “Hey, look at all the free publicity he’s received through this”  There are plenty of ways to get good publicity and it doesn’t always have to be controversial. But enough about him, let’s talk about my baseball.  I always keep a few baseballs with me whenever I go see a “famous” person speak.  I’ve always collected autographed baseballs.  A tradition I’ve kept since I was a kid. I’ve had everyone from Mikhael Gorbachev to Drew Brees sign baseballs. I figured I would have Parsons sign a ball and give it away in a contest.  Now I can’t decide if it’s lost value or maybe even gained value, but no matter what, I’m pretty sure nobody wants it.

It could also be the worst autograph I’ve ever gotten on a baseball.  It looks like I got it on his deathbed.  It seemed as if he’s never signed a baseball because he had no idea where or what to do with it (that could help value). When it was all said and done, I jut wanted to get out of there and take Bob out as well.  As I said before, he looked uncomfortable and confused and I’m pretty sure he won’t be signing up to do very many speeches again.  Although I can’t imagine he’ll have very many invitations.

So what to do with this thing. Which of the following should I do?

1. Auction it off on Ebay and let the winner burn it.  I’ll donate the money to the animal charity chosen by the winner.

2. Have a contest and give it away on the blog

3. Have Chef Patrick and Nelson Brady sign the baseball as well and sell it as “The Controversy Ball”

4. Put it in the closet and forget about it.

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Outsmarting the Dumb, Outworking the Smart

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  1. Bill F

    The “Ball of Shame” comes to mind here.
    I’d play catch with it until the name wears off, then you can get it signed by someone more important, like Charlie Sheen.

  2. Stan

    Target the redneck market or the NRA and of course offer a million upsells along the way and make the process take 10 times longer than it should and annoy the hell out of you until they finally get to buy that baseball 🙂

  3. Nate

    “From the gaudy diamond ring to his views on the young ladies, it’s just not an image that a global company wants to have.”

    HAHAHAHAHA so true

  4. Clay Burt

    First time I have to disagree Shane…

    Value goes up. An internet CEO with a big ego and big personality… Uh, Oracle/SUN/APPLE/FACEBOOK/… Works well for all of them – gets them press.

    Using sex appeal to sell – other than he is old enough now to just look like a perv – is what GoDaddy markets 24/7… Better than some of these other lame domain registrars – for domain companies you’d think they would do a better job of UI and ordering process. At least GD makes it easier on your eyes. It is a brand – appealing to who? The vast majority of domainers and just domain name buyers are young to middle age guys – they know their market and I vaguely remember a post or two on this site that might have leveraged that very fact.

    Option 1 and the Donate it to PETA comment are funniest – I’m sure they’d love the cowhide covering – kinda paradoxical. Then they could tie it to a tree for effect – just not one of your trees b/c you’d dig it up and sell it as a baseball fruit tree – now that would be funny and prove that you are one of the best salesmen around. That would be super funny. Seriously.

    Stan’s comment is worst – obvious Yankee – sorry all us rednecks can’t be as smart as you and not the least bit prejudiced against a group of people… oh wait… God help anyone for upselling – you really do have the .net, .org, .us, .biz, .me, .co to go with that .com I just bought? Well thank you very much – oh, wait, how much more is it?

    I don’t follow the news too closely so I’m sure I’ve missed something that he did that was just horribly wrong so forgive me in advance, but I thought he went on a safari and killed an elephant that was destroying poor farmer’s crops and gave it to them to eat as well… I know, I know, he had other motives and ENJOYED it too much and shouldn’t have posted a video… Maybe we should ask for an elephant hide baseball and I can have GoDaddy Fanboy autographed on mine

  5. LS Morgan

    For some reason, every thing about this post- from the picture of Parsons to the commentary- made me laugh my @ss off.

    Keep the ball.

  6. Anders

    Wipe your prints off it, kill an animal with it, frame Bob. He deserves it. “Godaddy Bob kills Ostrich with selfsigned baseball”.

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