If Your Buyers are Going To Lie, You Might As Well Lie Right Back

May 23 2012

“I was wondering if you were interested in selling your domain. I see that you are not doing anything with it and I had a project that I wanted to use the name for.  I don’t have a lot of money, I’m just a student, so if you have it at a reasonable price I’d be interested”

You’ve probably received this same email dozens of time.  My guess is that 10% of the people on the other end are telling the truth.  The rest are just trying to get a better price.  I figure if they are going to lie, I’m going to lie right back.  I don’t have to lie and have no reason to but its much more fun.  Its my domain and I can name whatever price I want but I figure I might as well have a little fun at the expense of the buyer.  Here are a few of my responses to some emails

“I see you’re not doing anything with this domain”

Response:  Actually this is my business email.  No I don’t have a website on the domain but that’s not what I use it for.  I do most of my business through the email that uses this domain and would have to have a solid offer to even consider the transition to a new email

“Before I buy the dot net I wanted to check the price of your domain”

Response:  Thank you in advance for reminding me that I forgot to register the dot net OR Thank you in advance for the free traffic you will be giving my dot com.  It is a proven fact that there will be “leakage” from your dot net to the dot com.  I get plenty of type ins as it is but always appreciate more free traffic.

“I don’t have deep pockets”

Response:  That’s OK because the money you’ll need to buy this domain wouldn’t fit in your pockets anyway.  This is more of a bank account type name

“If you would kindly send me your best price”

Response:  I’d have to go with Katie Price.  I really don’t know a lot of Prices but she’s a pretty nice looking girl so I’d have to go with her as my favorite Price.  I did like Joe Price when he pitched for the Reds so he would be my second best pick.

“‘I’m would like to buy this domain for my girlfriend to start a blog”

It’s amazing how many boyfriends are buying domains for their girlfriend.  I’ve had two alone in the last year.

Response:  “You’re a nicer boyfriend than I am spending all that money on your girlfriend. It’s also ironic that the domain is owned by my wife who wants to sell it to buy herself a new car because I won’t buy her one”

I’ve actually given these responses to some of my clients.  I DO realize that selling domains is serious business but I figure I might as have a little fun while doing it if I feel that the buyers aren’t serious either.  If they are…well… they’ll get past my antics if they want to buy them.


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Outsmarting the Dumb, Outworking the Smart

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  1. nux

    Haha that’s funny. I do see lots of these. One thing that made me laugh is I actually reached out to a domainer to buy a domain for my wife to start a blog on.

    I doubt they believed it but who knows. Never got a response..hah

  2. Leo

    I want to buy the domain to show off my dog “Fluffy”.

    I actually got one of those.

  3. andy kelly

    LOL great stuff..You get all the boyfriends wanting to buy a domain for their girlfriends, I get all the “college students” Last time I got a college student I told them to study hard as they would need to get a good job to pay for the domain they were after.

  4. Harrison

    Very creative responses. I try and keep most of ours on the serious side as you never know if someone will comeback with a better offer, but I am always tempted to throw their bs back in their face.

    Thanks for sharing these

  5. DropWizard.com

    I had one of the student ones surface a few years later for the same domain. When I pointed out his previous email saying he was a poor student and what had changed he assured me he was now an “alumni”. Still didn’t offer any money though 🙁

    I just point out that regardless of their motivation my staff still have to eat.

  6. Anon

    As I acquire more and more names that get more and more interest, I am really starting to appreciate the wisdom of the Rick Schwartz “fuck off” method.

    I do own some domains I’d gladly sell for $1000, $2000, $3000 but I just don’t have time to engage in running debates with idiots about why the one-word .com registered in 1996 that gets three inquires a month is really only worth $500 and I’m insane to not sell it for that.

    A recent paraphrased exchange with a ‘domainer’ who inquired about one of my few .net names (one who apparently reads and has posted on this very blog per what I googled about him)

    Him: Blah blah blah, domain name

    Me: I’ll hear offers

    Him: Please let me know your best price so I know if I can afford it or not

    Me: I’ll save you the time. You can’t afford it.

    Him: YOU JERK! YOU RUDE JERK!!! YOU COWARD! blah blah yadda yadda blah…

    It gets old…

  7. RJ

    I get a lot of these and the first thing I do is google the name of the person..often = no hits because it’s totally made up or a very generic one like Mike Jones. I have noticed that many of these time wasters tend to be non-U.S. folk with a poor grasp of economics.

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