Need a Domain Lawyer? Bodul Johnson Wins Your Case or He Won’t Charge You Extra

Jul 14 2012

Today I stumbled across the most amazing legal site I’ve seen in years. A site for one Bodul Johnson that breeds confidence and intellect like no other site I’ve been to.  Don’t let the dot biz tld fool you, Bodul is current and fresh despite his site being written for Netscape and having a chasing cursor.  Actually I’m pretty sure (I’m hoping) its a gag site but it gave me the biggest laugh of the day.  My description can’t do it justice.  Here is a quick preview of his FAQ

Q: WHAT KIND OF IDEAS DO YOU PROTECT?

A: All ideas! Espcially brilliant ones. The more brilliant your idea is, the more likely I am to want to protect it for theives. Examples of ideas I’ve protected in the past: POGS, Matching Socks, Digital, Double Sided Glue Sticks, Pepsi Max

Q: HOW DO I KNOW YOU WON’T LEARN MY IDEAS THEN STEAL MY IDEAS?

A: That would be unethical and I would be forced to sue myself. Besides, if I wanted to be a brilliant inventor I would have done that instead of laywer. Law requires a lot more school than inventing and when you are done with law school, that degree entitles you to also be an inventor because you’ve done more school than is required to invent things. Past inventions that I’ve already acomplished: Round books, etc.

Q: DO YOU WIN CASES?

A: All the time. I’ve probably won more cases than sherlock holmes has solved cases. And scooby doo. (comedy is part of being a good laywer).

Q: WHAT IS THE BEST IDEA YOU”VE EVER PATENTED?

A: Though this is a hard question because I’ve patented so many great things, it’s an easy question because the answer is cancer medication. My patenting of cancer medication has prevented inferior companies from making cheaper cancer medication in massive quantities. Without this patent, the original inventor of this miricle cancer medication wouldn’t have the money to continue with its advertising campaign, nor have the luxury of release the medication in a way that best benefits the laws of supply and demand (which is not a legally binding law).

Q: DO YOU BEND THE LAW?

A: Never! Laws are like arrows. You can try to bend them, but they will just brake and probably cut your hands… but if used properly you can use them to kill and/or mame your enemies and wild animals! (Note: it is against the law to shoot your enemies with arrows. Bobdul does not endorse this practice,)

Q: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WILL WIN?

A: Because I only fight for what is good, and what is good always wins in the end (even if the court initially rules against good).

Q: DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THE LAWS?

A: Yes.

Q: DO YOU HAVE AN ARCH NEMESIS?

A: I was afraid this question would arise. There is a man (who shall go unnamed at this time) who has held a bitter rivalry with me. Before I was able to finish law school, he scowered obituaries, harvesting patents known to belong to the deceased. With no one alive to challenge his patents, he was able to create products using other peoples ideas! (I call this “unventing”). I have made it my life goal to shut down his evil empire and restore the patents to where they belong: the grave. These products should not exist because someone came up with the ideas then died with those ideas. They deserve to be buried with those ideas, and I will use all of my resources to make sure that happens.

Q: WHAT COMPANY DESIGNED YOUR WEBSITE?

A: I designed my own website. Many people do not believe me because someone who spends all of his time fighting for law shouldn’t have time to learn advanced html skills needed to make a website like this one… but I have. I don’t know what to tell you. I am proof that impossible is possible.

Q: HAVE YOU EVER FALLEN IN LOVE WITH A CLIENT?

A: I have. She was beautful. More beautiful than anyone you have ever dated or had a chance with. She was also brilliant which is more beautiful to me than actually being beautiful. She was my law-muse. Alas, as with so many wonderful things, it was never truly fated to be. I learned a very valuable lesson from this undying love that dug into my soul… You cannot patent the heart. I cheated on her.

P.S. Do not think up a bogus invention/idea and try to have me patent it just so that you can get close to me! That reeks of desperation and I can smell it coming a mile away. I will not fall in love with you! Many have tried, most have failed! Brilliant ideas birthed from inspiration (or that came to you in a dream) only!

Q: ARE YOU ASHAMED TO CRY?

A: Yes!

Q:: WHY DIDN’T YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION?

A: This is a FREQUENTLY asked questions page. ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS WERE ASKED MORE THAN ONCE! If your question was only asked once, that is why!

Take a look and let me know what you think

 

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Outsmarting the Dumb, Outworking the Smart

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