Top Ten Domainer Lies With Richard Head

Sep 13 2011

It’s finally time for the unveiling of writer number three.  In reality, he’s an ass but the guy knows his stuff.  He claims to be a 10 time winner of “Domainer of the Year” but when pressed admits the title is self given.  He said he’s been domaining for 25 years despite the fact that domains have really only been around for 16.   What he lacks in etiquette, cleanliness, and ethics he more than makes up for in knowledge and humor. Besides the  stuff this guy knows about other domain investors and this industry and his crude behavior I have a feeling I am going to need to work on my disclosure statment.   I’m not really even sure of his real name but he always introduces himself as Richard Head aka Dick Head and goes by the moniker Dick Head Domainer.  He’ll be a regular contributor until he’s either kicked off, sued, or gets in a fight with Tucker.  Until then, here’s his first article.

Domaining 101 :   The Top 10 Domainer Lies

Hey everyone, I’m the 3rd wheel in “Shane’s Ultimate Domainerathon BlogFiesta”, or whatever it is he’s calling this experiment in letting other people ruin his reputation.  Shane told me today that reading my post was like enduring an Ironman . . . you look at how long it is and get this feeling that something amazing is going to happen, but after getting in to it you realize you may just vomit, and after all that effort the only thing amazing is that you just discovered a new way to beat the crap out of yourself.

Anyway, Shane wants me to introduce myself but I told him I’m not prepared to really out myself just yet, so for now you can just refer to me as Dick Head the Domainer.  I know that might be hard for you non-domainers to grasp since all domainers are dickheads in your eyes . . .so just think of me as the every-day domainer . You know, pure attitude.

I’ll probably just make a post now and then, ya know to give Shane a little boost in traffic and to help out all the newbie domainers.  I like to give back to the community and all that.

If you’d like for me to cover any topic or if you have a question about domains, please send a self-addressed-stamped-envelope or email to Shane with attention “Dear Dickhead Domainer” and we’ll get to your questions as soon as possible.

In an effort to educate newbie domainers in the art of domaining, I’ve compiled a list of the top 10 domainer lies.  No domainer worth a .biz registration is innocent to the lies. It’s just a matter of how white .

I have plans to develop this domain.  Bro, you’ve owned this name since 1999 and you have it parked still. You’ve never ran a business before and don’t even know what CSS is ?  Your as likely to develop this domain as Rick Schwartz is going to stop wearing Hawaiian shirts.

I don’t know how much traffic the domain gets. That’s because you’ve mistaken those goose eggs in your stats for the letter “o” .  That’s cool we already know how much it gets just by this response.

This domain is a great brandable domain.  This may not entirely be a lie.  As they say, “one man’s brandable is everyone else’s expiring domain.”

That trademark domain I own must have been bought by my automated script.  Yes I’m sure that the DomainerBot-3000 must have been on the fritz that day when you registered, and

I go to the domain conferences to attend the sessions If by sessions you mean catching up with the bros in a hazy hotel room, we gotcha.  This lie is one that’s not heard in public as much as in the private lives of the domainer and more frequently right before domainfest.  “Yes, honey, I know the Playboy Mansion is on the list of events, but I’ll probably just hang out in my room during that.”

I’m providing this resource/forum/ebook/conference to give back to the community That guy over at Domaingang, Saint Domainicus, would be so proud.  I’m sure there’s nothing in it for you. You are just a really, really nice guy who has banner ads, affiliate links and a big huge email list to pitch other products.

I’m a domain guru and I’ve been domaining since 1998 I have more Twitter followers that are “domain gurus” than Chef Patrick has friends on Facebook.  With all these gurus out here, how are we all not making our millions already? Lead us “oh great gurus”.  Oh and btw if you’ve been domaining since 1998 why is the oldest registered domain in your portfolio expiring tomorrow?

It takes a lot of work, skill, knowledge and/or experience to be a great domainer. Many think that domainers just sit around checking their email in their underwear, reading drop lists and responding to UDRPs, but there’s far more to this craft.  Running an international internet company is difficult. It requires frequent “cultural excursions” to Rome, Paris, Oklahoma, Prague, Amsterdam, The Caymans, and especially Vegas. It also requires a great deal of knowledge in the fine art of clubbing.  Which club is blowing up tonight fellas ?  I need to get some bizNeZ done !!

I’ve received a lot of interest in this domain. If by interest you mean the renewal notices that you get every year. Ok then, we’ll let this one slide.

I’m not really interested in selling this domain. Really?  you have it listed on Godaddy, Sedo, Afternic, Boxcar, Bido, and that giant magnet on the side of your SUV.  Alright, I get it. You must have changed your mind.

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Outsmarting the Dumb, Outworking the Smart

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  1. Clay Burt

    Nice article Dick! Or should I say, Shane’s alter ego?

    Although, I guess an alter ego would imply it was different than Shane’s claimed posts… A little less quick wit and humor, but similar enough to know you’ve been reading Shane for a while… welcome.

    1. Post author


      This isn’t Domain Gang. I’ll write my own stuff under my own name :). I think Dick has some good articles in him but we’ll see. If not, I’ll send him back to the other side of the computer. And yes everyone wants to be me.

  2. jimmy godanza

    love it!!! i hate number 10 the most!! i’m going to reply to every dick head response with a link to this post now.

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